Get the HATE out.

I have continued to meditate and study on 1 corinthians 13:4-7 and God has continued to speak to me more concerning these verses:
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

When we are little we learn about opposites. Cold is the opposite of hot, up is the opposite of down, and so forth. I believe that most all people will agree that hate is the opposite of love. Given what all God has already spoken to me concerning these verses (in my last blog), He revealed to me that our definition of hate is ALL wrong. Most of us (especially christians) would say... "oh no... I don't hate ANYONE!" with great conviction but what if our definition of hate is wrong.

According to the Bible (which i believe front to back) love is patient and kind. If I believe that, then I must believe that hate is unkind and impatient. I believe the bible when it says that love isn't selfish or rude so I must also believe that when I treat someone rudely or I am acting selfishly that I must be acting hateful. So if I claim to love someone but I am jealous of them and rude to them..... maybe I actually HATE them, I just had my definitions all wrong.

I commission you to abandon the definitions the world has given you concerning these two opposites: hate and love. Look to the Bible for the truth and repent for treating your brothers and sisters hatefully. I am personally guilty and God convicted my heart like never before, today. I hit my knees and sobbed for God to forgive me and wring the hate out of my heart and fill me with His love and holy spirit.

I have been guilty of not treating my family, friends, and church family with love. If I can't even treat those people with love... how am I going to care enough to go out and LOVE sinners. How can I expect to go out and fullfill the great commission if I am treating my own family as if I hate them.

I HAVE TO BE FULL OF GOD'S LOVE IN ORDER TO GIVE IT OUT. I CANNOT POSSIBLY GIVE SOMETHING OUT THAT i DON'T POSSESS. With that being said... I have to get in God's presence and be filled with His love and the Holy Spirit in order to have the strength to Love by correct definitions.

I am reallly looking for feedback on these and if you have any comments or questions of any kind feel free to let me know.

What are your motives?

Wow... I know I've been posting a lot here lately but God has just been speaking to my heart and I want to share. I just can't keep it in. I've been reading and studying 1Corinthians 13:1-7 for going on a week now and God has revealed so much to me through just this small exerpt. I have posted it below:

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

This scripture is quoted time and time again but God has really opened some doors in my heart and allowed me to understand this verse in a new way.
First of all the thing that dawned on me the hardest and heaviest was this.... There are things that are not written within this scripture, but can be understood and assumed based on this scripture. Verse 3 says that if I give everything I own to the poor, but do it without love, it means absolutely nothing. Well these verses describe some extreme things that could be done without love, and be meaningless like have the faith enough to move a mountain..... What about tithing without love? What about when there's someone who gets on your nerves and you do nice gestures for them.... but without love? What about when you're going to Wal-Mart and you see the kids having a bake sale, and you get agitated and toss some money in their bucket thinking, "God will honor this..." but do it without love? This really knocked me over.

How many of you have went to church on Sunday morning out of obligation, but not LOVE? I don't write this pointing fingers... I myself have been guilty of this in the past. How many of you have went and prayed for someone out of duty, and not LOVE?

I really hope that these verses continue to minister to you like they have me. I will be praying and meditating on these verses again this week and praying for God to saturate me with His holy love that I may pass it on to others and do things for people, not out of duty or obligation, but out of the LOVE of Jesus Christ. I pray the same for each of you reading this.

proverbs 31... the prayer of my heart.

Lord it is the prayer of my heart for you to mold me and make me more like this wife and mother of noble character described below. Father I pray for gentleness and meekness.

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

my crazy cute wild amazing challenging spunky spontaneous creative loving smart little boy

I know a certain little boy who is driving me craaaaazy and his name is Joseph Emanuel Purvis.... I'm just wondering what makes him so OPINIONATED about everything. He is so intelligent and spunky but man oh man.... some days that child wears my patience.
Fridays at his school is "School Spirit Day" where they wear their school shirt. Well he doesn't really like his shirt because it's a little too big for him but I had it laid out for him to wear anyways, on account of the class with the most school shirt wearers wins a pizza party. Well that child lost his MIND this morning. He spent like 30 minutes crying in the floor yelling, " I don't HAVE any school spirit!", "This shirt is too big!" , and "I want to wear my wittew (little) Diego shirt!". I have to also mention that I didn't cave, and I made him wear his school shirt despite his antics.
So I went and got him early from school today so that he and I could play together. When we got home I got him a snack, then Alexis needed to be put down for her afternoon nap. I put on a movie for him: Madagascar, so that he could watch it while I was busy. When he saw what I put on he started pitching a fit screaming he wanted to watch Diego... So.... I made him calm down, apologize, then ask me correctly if he could watch Diego. Then I put Diego in and what happens? My beautiful little boy throws himself on the floor yelling, "Me no wanna watch Diego! wanna watch the car movie!" I was like, forget this mess... and then I sent him to his room for 20 minutes to cool down. Oh my goodness. Who knew that my mother was actually speaking a curse over me when she once screamed at me, "I PRAY that you have a child one day and that he/she is EXACTLY like you!!!" So finally, I have to give a shout out to mi mamasita: Thanks, mom..... thanks a whole lot, crazy woman. lol!!
I feel much better after having shared that frustration of mine so while I'm on here I feel I should share a funny story about my baby Joe Man: The other day we were walking out of a store and Joseph was walking along holding my hand. We came walking up beside this one car when my little boy decides to LICK this car. I just told him to quit that because it was nasty when I realized that there was actually someone sitting in the driver's seat and she had been watching! I was really embarrassed. Then I noticed the look on the lady's face was all disgusted looking at my baby so that made me feel protective my silly little guy. I almost decided to lick the car too. LOL...

How am I?

I was asked recently, "How are you?" in an email. It got me started thinking and I thought about what a loaded question that is sometimes.... lol. Well to answer that question... I am blessed beyond belief. God takes me from blessing to blessing. How is it that I constantly feel inadequate, and like a disappointment yet God loves me so much He is willing to go above and beyond the desires of my heart. He is so good to me I live a life of praise and worship because I'm so grateful of all the blessings that God has bestowed upon me and my family.

I will take a minute to catch everyone up on the latest news in the family... Alexis got 2 teeth!!!!!!!!! They are both on the bottom and they are soooo cute!

Joseph has started Rainbows and he LOVES it. This is kind of like a christian boyscouts. He goes every wednesday night and he asks me about it EVERY single day. He is learning his letters at school and he soaks it all in like a sponge. I get VERY good reports from his teachers that he is now very kind and follows the rules. YAY! That's what every momma wants to hear.

Rene and I just got through taking our teens to BattleCry (Acquire the Fire) in Dallas. It was really amazing. I really wished we had brought more unsaved teens with us though. That would have been soooo AWESOME. It's just a thought but I think next year we're going to fundraise for like 6 or 7 months and raise enough money to bring like a dozen or so teens absolutely free. Then we could find as many unsaved teens as we can and bring them! That one is still in brainstorming mode =D. If you have any ideas let me know.

Well I think that's about it as far as family updates. Keep our family in your prayers!!!!

Treading Water

Well I haven't wrote on here in a while so I hardly know where to start. Alexis is getting so big and Joseph just had his 3rd birthday party. Another year full of changes has flown by.

Here lately I find myself exasperated at.... well, just everything pretty much. I feel like I have too many "irons in the fire". I've tried taking some out but it seems like I get sucked back in. I've been praying alot though and asking God what it is that HE wants me to be doing though. I know that first and foremost I have a longing and responsibility to be there for my babies.... next there's the Youth Ministry.... there's certain areas where I want to be more involved in, and other areas where I'd like to lessen my involvement in order to spend more time with Joseph. I feel like I don't hardly ever get to see my husband anymore although that's really not true. I do get to see him for usually 2-3 hours a day during the week. It's just that there's something going on every single weekday. monday nights he has school and I am overseeing the RSM dance team... yes... laugh if you must, so he's not in until after i'm asleep. Tuesday nights he has worship team practice, and isn't in till after I'm asleep. Wednesday nights are our youth services, so usually we're both there but he stays late to clean and isn't home until very late. Thursdays there's not anything planned regularly although it seems as if stuff has been popping right up to occupy this night as well. Fridays used to be free but I might begin attending a bible study group on friday nights.... Sometimes I get so overwhelmed, but here lately I've really tried to discipline myself to pray more and get into my Bible more and I can really tell a difference. No more panic attacks at least. Sometimes I just with I had a normal life where I could come home in the evenings, fix dinner for my family, and sit down and eat together then hang out. I miss the time we used to spend reading together or just laying in bed talking before we fall asleep. I'm praying about that though... I know that God is capable of anything. I really want my best friend back.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm treading water. You know... cuz when you tread water you're doing sooooo mucch work and putting out so much effort just to stay afloat. BUT I'm not letting that get me down because I have lived enough to know that it's just part of the ups and downs of life. I truly do trust God and I know that He's gonna work everything out.

Here's some recent pics of everybody....

a year of firsts......

i am truly a blessed woman. i could have never imagined my life would turn out the way it has. i have much more than i ever deserved. i truly serve an AWESOME GOD. he is amazing and he loves me soooo much.

just three small years ago i lived a life that is a far cry from the one i lead now. i was doing drugs regularly, drinking, smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, abusing prescription drugs, and many more things that i'm ashamed to put on here. i was dating this guy and i got pregnant.... so i did the natural thing and told him i was pregnant. well when i told him i was pregnant i pretty much never saw him again unless it was by accident. he denied that joseph was even his son and still does to this day even though we have had a paternity test to confirm that he is joseph's biological father. i found out that he had been cheating on me with somebody i consider pretty gross. they (joseph's sperm donor and his gf) disgusted me but i was also hurt by the betrayal of being cheated on and the rejection of my beautiful son. i thought of the road ahead of him and imagined his hurt to find out that the man who fathered him couldn't even stand the thought of him. that thought broke my heart and brought me to tears many many times.

i gave my life to jesus two days after my baby boy was born. i was in the hospital and i wrote two letters that day. one to god and one to joseph. the one to god asked him to forgive me for the shameful and perverted lifestyle that i had been living, and it was also a promise that from that day on i wanted to live my life for him. i decided that day to hand my hellacious mess to god and let him sort it out. the letter to joseph promised him that i would do my best to raise him up to live for god. from that day on my life was never the same.

when joseph was 17 months old i met a guy online.... lol. www.pentacostalmatch.com. hahaha. anywayssss this really cute guy messaged me and we exchanged email addresses and added each other on myspace. he seemed amazing and sometimes i truly felt it was simply too good to be true. soon we exchanged 's and we were on the phone CONSTANTLY. some nights i barely got any sleep because we talked all night. soon he came to visit me and meet my family. it was then that i was POSITIVE that i wanted to marry him. i went to a mission trip to mexico with him that summer where RENE PICOTA proposed to me at the sea of cortez. that was the best summer of my life. it changed me in ways i could never explain. it went much deeper than simply becoming engaged. we were married on september 15th, 2007.

we found out i was pregnant in early november. we were both surprised and thrilled. i started praying for a girl just to be reassured that god wants to give me the desires of my heart. he gave me alexis paige picota on july 2nd of 08. i love her so much. she is my special angel.

it has been an amazing year full of ups and downs. i learned sooooo much about my husband in our first year of marriage. he is an amazing person that i have grown so deeply in love with. his love for god amazes me, and his passion inspires me. he is a man of great faith and i have witnessed him believe god for many things that have come to pass. he has helped to increase my faith even though he might not even know it. he is so forgiving of my failures. i am soooo happy that i followed my heart and what god was telling me was right. i didn't listen to all the people who said i was crazy for marrying some guy i met on the internet. lol. god was telling me that this was his will for my life and i am so glad i listened. rene armando picota ranks in the top three of the greatest gifts god has ever given me ( in no certain order: jospeh rene and alexis).

i love god and i just wanted to take a moment to look back to the slums that god pulled me out of. those that knew me three years ago know what kind of person i used to be. i want to be a living testimony that god can change your life. he changed mine and i am so thankful.



i love you rene and happy anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!